A Journey Without a Name
by 0-Kelly-0
Summary: I should never have been blessed with the time that I held her eyes with mine. Something about her caressed me, caring for me without words or actions. So I accepted this. I never looked into those eyes again. HinataXNeji :Rating Subject to Change:
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not now, and never will, own the story or characters of Naruto. I write this story purely because I enjoy writing, and am gaining nothing but feedback. I hope.  
(This disclaimer will remain in effect for the remainder of the story. If you have any questions, write me a letter.) 

Title: A Journey Without a Name  
Pairing: HinataXNeji  
Rating: Currently T but subject to change in the near future.  
Genre: Angst/Romance

A/N: I would like to say right now to my lovely lovers of Away From the Cold that this story does not in any way tie back to that one. This is just a new story that I felt inspired for, so I just went for it. (BUT, if you loved Away From the Cold, I'm sure you'll love this one too!) I would very very much appreciate your feedback, reviews make me feel all warm and tingly inside:P Please enjoy!

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We all remember it. I guess we've tried to shun it aside, forget about it to gain some kind of sick sense of normality. To regain our sanity. 

I tried to forget. I couldn't tell you what I was feeling, because I myself didn't know. It was hard to look anyone in the eye anymore. They saw me, and remembered her. Remembered who she was, and why we loved her.

We weren't enemies when it happened by any means. It was much better than the terror we went through five years ago at the Chuunin Exams. I would have to say that that fight cleared the air for us. We were never friends, but she was a cousin, and it was my job to protect her. I didn't despise that obligation anymore.

After that, I couldn't call her weak. She would never be like me, but she didn't want to be. And I had to respect her for that. She followed a path that none of us expected her to. She worked hard. I was proud to say she was my cousin.

The Hyuuga clan was known to have the touch of Gods. Our hands were soft, but the lightest touch could kill. Hinata fit this bill more than any of us. Even I had a few times where I could have pounded the living crap out of something, and forget about what I had been taught about my clan's honor.

She had a grace about the way she walked. She held her head high now with her shoulders back. But she still couldn't look me in the eye when she talked. She looked everyone else in the eye but me. Even her own _father_ had the privilege of looking into the glassy depths of her eyes. But not me.

Once, after returning from a mission, I was tired and I was beaten. We had failed, and I was in one of my terrible moods. Hinata, being the angel she was, offered to heal what she could of my scraps and bruises, and bandage the rest. She was early in her training then.

I told her briefly about the mission when she asked, but for some reason, at that moment it bothered me then that she wouldn't look at me. I took her chin in my hand, and lifted her head so her eyes met mine. I guess it was the first time I had touched something gently, with no intent to harm.

I startled her. I know I must have, for she immediately broke her eyes away from mine, and looked downward, my hand still holding her chin. "Look at me." I told her, and she did so obediently. Did I frighten her? Is that why she couldn't bear to look at me?

I had never seen anything before that I could truly call beautiful, but her eyes showed me something that was beyond beauty. Her eyes mirrored mine perfectly, but they were so different. She held something within her that I could never understand. I could see it through her eyes, that she was different from me in so many ways.

It was at that moment that I realized why she never looked me in the eye. I was not meant to see such beauty. I should never have been blessed with the time that I held her eyes with mine. Something about her caressed me, caring for me without words or actions.

So I accepted this. I never looked into those eyes again. At least, not until that night.

Maybe it was some fantasy, or the imagination that I never knew I had, but I felt calm around her presence. I would never tell anyone this, of course, but I enjoyed being around her, even if it was just in my own way.

I protected her, and she took care of me. You could say that we both benefited from being around each other. I only spoke to here when she spoke to me, and she only talked because she knew I was the one person that would listen indifferently to her problems.

I've never had a friend, but I guess she was the closest I ever came to one. I had teammates, I had family, and I had acquaintances. That was all.

The night that she was taken from me was the first time I set foot inside her room. It was our unspoken agreement that we would meet in public places, even if that only meant the training grounds or the living area of the Hyuuga home. She never came to my room, and I never came to hers.

Maybe I just knew her voice. Maybe it was just my instincts. But whatever it was, I heard her scream when no one else did. By now, everyone says that I'm crazy. I must have just imagined it, they tell me. But I heard her, I know I did.

I may not be one to normally kick out doors, but this was a special occasion. When the door flew open the first thing I saw was the looked she gave me. Her eyes were just as beautiful as my memory had reminded me each night. But they were different. They were scared.

The second thing I saw in her room was the man that had her around the neck. "Neji!" She screamed at me. It was the first time that she had said my name without a suffix. What I remember next is the thing that haunts my dreams every night.

She reached out to me with one hand, the other still grasping at the arm the man had around her neck, trying to keep him from chocking her. "Neji! You can save me!" Then they were gone.

Somewhere in-between all of this happening, I had rushed into the center of the room to try to get her. To get that man. The flood of smoke clouded my vision, and made my eyes water. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself the reason was.

So that's where the family found me moments later. They heard the explosion of the smoke bomb, and had rushed over. They wanted to know who took her. I told them I didn't know. They told me to tell them what he looked like. I told them I didn't know.

"Weren't they here when you got into the room?" Someone asked me. I nodded yes. "Then you must have seen what he looked like." I shock my head no.

When you have a dream, most of the time you can't remember everything. You may be walking down the street and things that are familiar are clear to you. You may see hundreds of faces then, and not remember any. Like they were walking in a cloud of haze.

I kept telling myself that maybe it was an illusion; maybe that's why I don't remember what he looks like. But it was a lie. All I saw was her eyes, pleading for me to help her, her hand outstretched, willing me to take it.


	2. Dreams Hold No Answers

A/N: Do I have some sick and twisted love of jamming Hinata-san in caves? Poor girl...and thanks for the reviews guys! Poetic? I like the sound of that...please enjoy, and don't forget to review!!!

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People told me that I was just stubborn. Maybe it was like some blow to my pride, and now I have to redeem myself. No one knew what drove me to the brink. 

Well, I myself knew, but I'd never tell.

I hadn't slept in three days. Some people would say it was nerves, everyone was on edge lately. But it wasn't that, it was her. She wouldn't leave me alone, damn it!

In my sleep, I always met with her. I would tell myself, "You're dreaming! Wake up!" But I was trapped, no way out. The dream was slightly different each time, but always started in the same setting.

It started out ok, if not a little strangely. I was in a plane of darkness, no horizon for the sun, just a sheet of black, never beginning, never ending. So I would walk. That was always the same. I did not fear the darkness; it was almost a comfort.

It's strange to say that the darkness was warm, but it wrapped around me like a blanket. So I kept walking in this warm cocoon of shadows, never heading anywhere, just walking because I could. Because it was my purpose.

Unconsciously, you could say I knew that I was going to meet her. Don't ask how I knew, but I would just get this shivery feeling, like the blanket was falling away and goose bumps were forming on my arms.

I would see her so suddenly; sometimes it would frighten me, although I learned to expect her there. This was our plane of nothingness; it was the only way that I could ever see her again.

"Neji-kun," She would say softly, her voice ringing like the tinkle of a bell. The suffix had changed again. The 'kun' made it sound almost endearing, like an old friend. Maybe that's what she viewed me as. At least in my dreams.

"Hinata-sama," I would reply in greeting, my suffix for her unchanging. Even in the privacy of my thoughts, I had schooled myself into self-control. She will always be higher than me.

Sometimes she would blush, and refuse the title, others, she would ignore it, like I had said nothing that upset her.

In what happened next was just like the days when she with me. She would talk. Every time it would be of something different, but the sweet sound of her voice was enough to calm me into submission.

The things she talked of were trivial, and of no importance to me, but I listened as though my life depended on the outcome of her words. She would ask what I thought, and I would reply honestly, and it always seemed to be what she wanted to hear.

She would smile brightly, a smile that shone in true happiness. Then I knew what happened next. My mind screamed at me to wake up, but I never did. Her voice would ask me sweetly, "Neji-kun, why have you not saved me?"

Every time, I would answer differently, hoping that it was what she wanted me to say, but it never pleased her. I tried everything, "I tried Hinata-sama, I'm sorry." No, no good. "I swear, I'll find you." Worse. "Please, forgive me." But she wouldn't.

Her face would turn to a frown, and she would tip her head to the side slightly. "Do you not care for me Neji-kun?" She would ask every time, despite my previous reply.

"I care for you very much Hinata-sama, I swear you that." Was always my answer.

"You mustn't, or you would try harder." She would say flippantly with a pout.

"I'm trying so hard Hinata, please," I pleaded, willing to beg for her forgiveness. It was after I said it that I knew I had just said her name affectionately, without the 'sama'. Every time, even though it was the same, it gave me a feeling of longing. Her name tasted sweet on my tongue, like just saying it was forbidden, therefore it tasted all the better.

Her face would calm slightly, and she would extend her hand. "Do you fear to touch me Neji-kun?" I shook my head no, but made no move to reach for her. "Then take my hand. Save me from what life has condemned me to."

My mind screamed in warning, alarms going off like fireworks, but I reached for her, her small warm hand fitting perfectly against mine. "Do you fear death Neji-kun?" I told her no, but I feared having to life without her. Her eyes would fill with what I could only describe as love, and she said to me, "Let me show you." It was all I could do to nod. She had me captivated.

The darkness faded away, and we were in front of a waterfall. "I love waterfalls," she would say, and I would just nod. I would try so many times to pick out something that would distinguish this place from any other, some landmark, some sign. But I could see nothing but the water flowing down the side of this cliff, pooling at the bottom in a misty spray.

She would lead me atop the water, walking so little ripples formed around the bottom of our feet. Such a task was simple, and took no focus for me. She led me to the waterfall, and we walked under it, I could feel the falling water pounding against my skin like little needles hammering against my flesh. She still held my hand.

Dripping wet, we entered a cavern behind the falling water, a tunnel that channeled out the sound of the waterfall as we walked until it could be heard no longer. The darkness grew until I could no longer my hand in front of my face, even with the help of my Byakugan. But, I could always still feel her hand encircling mine, so I kept going.

After what always seemed to be an eternity of listening to my own footfalls, and focusing on her soft hand in mine, we reach a cavern which thankfully has light. The little alarms would go up again, and she would always sense my hesitation. "Nothing can harm you here Neji-kun. You are to walk unseen." Very well then. So we continued until I could make out several bodies through a large wall with the Byakugan.

"Who are they?" I would whisper, although in my heart I already knew. She didn't answer, and we walked around the divider, and into another section of the cave.

"Stop this!" Hinata screamed, but it wasn't the woman beside me. This was the real Hinata, the one tied to a chair, crying horrible tears of anger in the center of the room. Around her eyes were hundreds of small pinpricks, blood dripping down her face, mixing with salty tears.

"Tell us how it works!" Demanded one of the men in the room stepping toward her threateningly.

I would take a step forward as well, my instincts kicking in, but I would feel a hand on my arm and stop. I looked over to Hinata's likeness beside me, and she would shake her head. "You cannot help her here. Just watch."

"I won't tell you!" She screamed, and spat in the man's face when he took a step closer.

"You bitch! I'll kill you!" And he struck her with an open palm across the side of her face, the sickening slap resounding against the caverns walls.

"Let me help her. Please, I have to help her." I whispered desperately, my eyes darting between the woman beside me, and the one tied to a chair.

"There is nothing more to see here," She would say, and turn. "She wanted you to know why she needs you so desperately."

"NEJI!" Hinata would scream from the chair, and everything went black.

And that is where I wake, my body rigid and cold with a sheen of sweat. In the beginning, I would scream out her name, willing myself back, desperate to help. But the call would only wake the household, causing more attention than I desire.

So now when I wake, I lay stiff and shaking, my eyes pinched closed in a pain that is never my own. I feel her pain. Or at least, that's what I make of it.

That is why I never sleep anymore.


End file.
